I had always thought that we were a close family. We had bi-annual family reunions where we would gather together and enjoy each other’s company.  But on the day that I said goodbye to my mother, she said that this was one of the good things that had come from her disease.  Let me start from the beginning.

On Mom’s birthday, I woke up and finished packing for my return back to Missouri. I packed the car, ate some breakfast and then went to tell my mother goodbye. I didn’t know if this would be the last time that I would see her alive or not. She was struggling to catch her breath, was unable to move much, and had already begun her goodbyes with family and friends. I didn’t want to go up to her room, but I had promised her that I would come and say goodbye before leaving. So after I gave Chris a hug and with a knowing look to Carolyn, I went up the stairs.

When I got to my parent’s bedroom, I knocked on the door. Mom and Dad said to come in. I walked around the corner and saw Mom lying in her bed. I meant to give her a hug and tell her that I would see her soon, but that’s not exactly what happened. Instead, I lay down on the bed, gave her a big hug…and started to cry. I had been holding it in all week as I listened to her work through her grief. Now I couldn’t do anything but hold her and weep.

We stayed that way for a while, hugging each other and crying. The she began to tell me the things that she wanted to tell me before she left, just in case she wasn’t able to later. She told me of how she and Dad were worried about me when I was younger, a kid who worried about nothing and took everything for granted, who did whatever he desired hoping to find…something. She told me how they had prayed over and over for me and how glad they were that God had turned me back around. She told me how proud she was of me being a pastor, of the way that Carolyn and I had raised our children. Even though I said that we’ve only raised them as we had been taught, she wanted me to know just how much she loved us.

Then she said something I’ve heard her say before, something I’ve even taught to others in Bible class to others, but somehow seem to forget when it comes to me. It was something that she has whispered into my ears throughout my life, something I’ve known and experienced, yet couldn’t apply to our current situation.  In short, she said that “God turns everything into good, for those who love Him.”

I knew it was true, yet I still struggled with it. Then she went on to talk of all the good things that have come from it. She spoke of how she was able to witness to the hope that she has through Christ Jesus to others. She said that she had seen relationships grow stronger between her and my father, as well as those who she knew in her congregation. She was gladdened to see how close my family has become over the last few weeks. And here I thought we were already close, but now I realize what she said was true. We are much closer than we were before.

My mom has always had a beautiful high soprano voice. I remember waking on Easter mornings to the sound of the Hallelujah Chorus and with her singing the soprano loud and clear. The disease took her voice several months earlier, something that she missed greatly. But today she talked of one of the hymns that would be sung at her funeral. It is entitled What Wondrous Love is This.

It’s a hymn that I’m quite familiar with, but  didn’t know all the words to. She told me that she had picked it because of the last verse. It reads:

And when from death I’m free, I’ll sing on, I’ll sing on; And when from death I’m free, I’ll sing on. And when from death I’m free, I’ll sing His love for me, And through eternity I’ll sing on, I’ll sing on, And through eternity I’ll sing on.

Then she went on to talk about how much comfort she takes in the Communion Liturgy when it speaks of “Angels and archangels and all the company of heaven evermore praising you and singing: Holy, Holy, Holy Lord God of Sabaoth. Heaven and earth are full of Thy glory.”

You see, that’s the faith that has always been taught to me by my parents. God sent His Son to suffer and die for all our sins, for my sins. The wages of sin is death. And for there to be forgiveness of sins, blood must be shed. But instead of my blood, God sent His Son in my place. It’s simple math really. Sin=death. If sin has been paid for, death cannot reign. So on the third day He was raised again in glory signaling the Father’s acceptance of His sacrifice for the sins of the world.

Scripture teaches that it is Baptism that ties us in with Christ’s death and resurrection. Saint Paul tells us in his letter to the Romans,

“ What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.”

You see, through the faith given in Baptism, we have the hope of everlasting life.

In the Lord’s Supper, we have a foretaste of the feast that is to come in heaven. My mom sings with the angels and archangels as part of the company of heaven. She gets the real thing of which I only have a taste, but which I will see in its fullness when I am called home. That’s what I have taught those who have lost a loved one. Surrounding the Lord’s Body and Blood are the faithful here on earth and the faithful who have died in the Lord. It’s the closest thing to heaven we have here on earth.

Participating in the Feast will never be the same for me. I will always think back on that conversation I had during those last days. What I have taught is now reinforced in the faith that I have been taught by my parents.